Current mood:	aggravated
Current music:	Metallica - Shoot Me Again

MTV must be stopped, no matter the cost...
Well after last post's sap-fest, I figured I'd follow it up with a rant, both barrells blazing. In my sites today: The MTV movie awards.


Oh My god in heaven did the MTV movie awards suck.

Suuuuuuu-hu-hu-hu-hu-huuuuuuuuuck.


Lindsay Lohan is hot. We all know this. She's seventeen. She's got huge titays. She's also kinda orange. But she's hot. So what.... this is not enough to maintain my attention for three hours of unadulterated garbage.

First off, let's look at the opening act. I was expecting what we've always had, a humerous re-editing of a scene from a big movie with the host inserted in.

What did we get?

A fucked-nut, retarded dance number with Miss Lohan and the porch monkeys from "You Got Served". I smiled once during this whole abortion of a performance, and that was when I remembered the Southpark episode that did such a good job of making fun of this awfulness. Omarion. You have a name that sounds like a transformer. You suck and you should kill yourself. Marcus. You should kill Omarion. I hope during one of your little "dance" performances, while sliding across the stage on your head, your balance throws and your neck snaps at the 4th vertibrae, paralizing you from the adams apple down for life. As your now limp and uncotrollable body comes to a stop on the stage, flailing like a fish out of water, you trip one of the back up dancers who falls into the scaffolding backstage, bringing all the rigging down and impailing Omarion on a piece of PVC piping. Enough with you two. Kill yourselves.



On to the presenters. I'm sick of these pretty-people hollywood fucks trying desperately to hide their absence of personality by bantering wittily at the mic and showing that they are, indeed, cardboard cut-outs. The only reason you are there is to hawk your next piece of crap "blockbuster", we know this, you know, get over yourself. You are not a beautiful snowflake.

And fuck the "themes" MTV. An entire award show centered around horror movies, celebrating a year that had ONE horror movie in it? Yeah, there's a peach of an idea, you mush-mouthed nothings. The animations have to go. HAVE TO. Just say "Now is the award for best male performance" and show a graphic saying as much. We don't need a badly rendered CGI abomination of what some aging hipster thought was "Cool" or "scary". Die.

The MTV movie awards used to be the cool anti-award-show award show. Now it's a useless clone of the oscars with a fraction of the class and none of the relevance. MTV in general is awful. I'm just old enough to remember when they played music. And not that TRL nonsense where you get 20 seconds of Justin Timberlake's latest musical abortion. I mean a full video of GOOD music.

MTV: It's time to put a bullet in the dying dog. Kill yourself.

You are the child to my windshield.