Tonight, Jon and I got lost in one of my favorite geek past-times: The philosophical debate.
We debated many things, but the topic that kept rearing its head was the existence of God and the beginning of life. A wise man once said that personal wisdom begins with admitting, "I don't know." I'll be the first to admit that I don't KNOW anything. I think many things, and even believe a good amount. I'm one hundred percent positive, however, about very little.
This is my foremost problem with religion. The religious right (and indeed organized religion in general) exists on the precept that the religious somehow GET some fundamental truth that the rest of us cannot grasp. I don't think it would be too much of a stretch to say that that the current ruling power of America is that of Christian Orthodoxy. Today's Christians, however, are Christians in name only.
Take a hard look at the teachings of Christ and you find a man who has more in common with Socrates than with any of today's so-called "religious scholars." Study Jesus and you find a man more apt to ask questions and challenge precepts that someone who torpedoes-be-damned clings to some ancient doctrine of right and wrong. Jesus was a cat who had a groovy philosophy for understanding and accepting your fellow man - a way of living-and-let-live that allows for the evils of human nature and teaches a way of being personally moral and personally responsible. Flash forward two thousand years and I bet this guy would be rolling in his (supposedly) empty grave at the way his teachings have been bastardized by modern man.
I believe (as many do) that religion should be a personal thing - something that you've studied and have come to accept as a spiritual philosophy that helps you- as an individual- get through the day. Instead we find a politicized dogmatic organization whose fundamental ideology says, at its core, "do what we say or burn for all eternity." In this regard I can see how the religious right and conservative republicans make such good bedfellows - both govern through fear-based, "our way or the pitchfork highway" tactics.
The moment you take a personal, philosophical ideology and build a structured, dogmatic infrastructure around it, you BY DEFINITION corrupt it. So now, instead of a personalized, agonized-over, hard-fought individual ideology arrived at through intensive reflective study and meditation (and god-forbid DEBATE), you have an imposing, threatening dogmatic dictatorship that leaves no room for interpretation and commands that you obey every aspect of their ideology lest you burn forever in a pit of eternal torment.
No thanks.
As I said before, I'm the first to admit that I don't KNOW anything. But as someone who was an altar boy for four years, a sacristan for three, a catholic school student for eighteen years and an amateur student of the Bible, Qur'an, Talmud, Kanjur and any other religious, historical scripture I can get my hands on, I've come to terms with two truths:
1. - Virtually all religious texts have at their core the same fundamental tenants of morality and codes of human behavior.
2. - Virtually none of them are accurately reflected by the current tenants of the popular modern forms their respective religions take on.
Religion, as a personal tool, is a useful rubric through which one can come to a personal understanding of their concept of god.
As an organized belief structure, it is a deadly weapon that can be corrupted into excusing, even ENCOURAGING any extremist viewpoint already inherent in a person. It can (and HAS) been used to justify almost every historical tragedy from slavery, witch-hunting, gay-bashing, and every form of repression from sexual to racial to cultural.
What it comes down to is that like anything, Religion is easily perverted by man. And because it claims to be the word of god, it is all that more effective and deadly a perversion.
What's saddening is that this country was supposedly founded on the denunciation of religious persecution and thus was set up as a religion-free zone of sorts. What has happened is that a Judeo-Christian regime (well, mostly Christian) has taken power. One cannot even get ELECTED to public office without being devoutly religious it would seem, which, as a result, has only led to a public that is begging to be lied to by their potential leaders.
Why is science a vice? Why is doubting hell-worthy? Why is Atheist a dirty word?
"We hold these truths to be self-evident... That ALL men are created equal..."
Why then do evangelical Christians- BY DEFINITION- feel they are superior to those they deem "not saved." This assumes that they GET some greater truth that the rest of us are too stupid to see. They can call it concern for our souls, or pity for our godlessness, but what it comes down to is that they feel smugly superior because they think they're going to heaven and I'm going to hell.
I know that you were blind and now you see. I know you were hungry and now you are full of the lord. Well I'm not hungry, and I see just fine, so fuck off.
It's a cliche, but remember that old tenant of Americanism? "I may not agree with what you say, sir, but I will defend with my life your right to say it." What ever happened to that? Why can't I rationally question the nature of the universe and admit that I have doubts about God's existence and that I believe that Jesus was a wise and honorable man with some revolutionary ideas but NOT God's biological son immaculately conceived of a virgin? Why does that make me somehow some horrible person? That's like the argument that homosexuals shouldn't be scoutmasters or teachers. Why is that you think gays are less able to keep their hands to themselves? Why does nonreligious automatically mean immoral and evil?
I know people that honestly think that not only does hell exist, but that I'm going there because I don't accept Jesus as my personal lord and savior. That means that every non-Christian in the history of the world (even those who lived and died long before Jesus was born) is now burning in hell. Well fuck that, good sir, I’d rather rock out with Ghandi, Nietze and Kant than sit around and self-flagellate with you guys. Afterall, the devil's got the best tunes.
Don't misunderstand me. I'm an optimistic pessimist. I hope to hell there is a god. Seriously. I want there to be. Even if it meant I was wrong, I'd rather burn forever in hell than suddenly blink out of existence. Better to burn out than to fade away, a wise man once said. I'm willing to admit to the possibility of a god.
Even though I can understand the theory of evolution... Even though I can follow the notion of the big bang and of coalescing gasses that explode and spread debris which form galaxies and solar systems and planets and chemicals and proteins and single-celled organism and plant life and living creatures and reptiles and mammals and apes and US. Even though I can (sort of) wrap my mind around the concept that the universe is like a giant piston, constantly and repeatedly expanding and retracting, creating and destroying life in an endless and repetitive cycle.... Even though I can grant all that.... I can't- as a mortal human- fathom all of this not having some sort of a beginning.
As humans, everything we are is based on a life cycle. An alpha and an omega. A Beginning and an End. Capital B, Capital E. Everything about the scientific theory of the origin of the universe makes sense except for the self-perpetuating cycle with no beginning. EVERYTHING has a beginning doesn't it?
And look at chaos theory... When you step back and examine existence and the universe as a whole... when you examine mathematically the random ridiculousness of EVERYTHING... patterns start to emerge. From fractal geometry to fibonacci spirals, there seems to be an almost lyrical symmetry to things. There MUST be or logically none of this would WORK. Is it the hand of God? I don't know... But I'm open to the idea.
This is where we differ from the die-hard religious right. I doubt God's existence... but I'm willing to accept the idea. I'm willing to debate it. With them there is no debate. There is no gray, only black and white. Complexity is pushed aside for absolutism. Moral ambiguity is abandoned for zealous certitude.
They KNOW God exists and they KNOW what he/she wants and they UNDERSTAND his/her will. All others be DAMNED! (Literally)
I like to think that I aspire to wisdom. I know nothing for sure.
I think certain things.
I even believe others.
But I'm willing to hear you out.
Current Mood: contemplative Current Music:Dropkick Murphys - Amazing Grace
That's right. Good and Evil. Autobots vs. Decepticons. These things were synonymous when I was a child. Still are as a matter of fact. An entire generation of children grew up on these shap-changing machines, and at least enough of them became geeks who couldn't let it go for hollywood to make a live-action adaptation. Now I know what you're all thinking - "This is too good to be true, as long as Michael Bay isn't directing it this thing will rock!"
Well he is. But it still will.
Although it will be different from what we remember as children. It has to be made understandable for those who don't know what the hell an energon cube is let alone who currently contains the matrix of leadership. Now I know what you're all thinking - "Impossible! The Prime is always the carrier of the matrix, who in the name of Cybertron doesn't know that?!"
Well Transformer neophytes do exist. So we'll all have to be patient.
As I was saying there will be differences. The exact vehicles that the robots transform into, par example. Bumblebee will no longer be a Volkswagon Bug. The people's Wagon, a car fine-crafted from the mind of Adolf Hitler himself, doesn't want itself associated with war. Ironic. Megatron will be a tank. This is completely understandable since in the cartoon he is a two-story robot who turned into a gun capable of being wielded by a human. No clue what soundwave will be, but since no one uses tape decks these days, he'll probably be a fucking ipod or something.
Now I know what you're all saying - "Fuck this revisionist history! I want the transformers of my youth!"
Get over it. There will be giant robots transforming into cool shit.
Now one thing that must not be fucked with is the cast. Unfortunately, it won't have this stellar line-up from the 1986 cartoon feature film:
BUT.... it will have one holdover, and thus, the reason for this journal entry.
Optimus Prime will be voiced by Peter Cullen, the ORIGINAL VOICE for the character.
I know most of you could give two shits, and that you realize this entry has been mostly tongue-in-cheek. But to a lot of us children-of-the-80s, this guys WAS the 80s. He was in almsot every major cartoon from G.I. Joe, MASK, Ghostbusters and Smurfs to the grandaddy of the them all - Transformers. Hearing anyone else voice the character would just be wrong, and to me, and to a lot of 80s geeks, this rocks.
If you've never heard the big guy, check out Optimus in all his glory from Transformers the Movie, complete with 80s synth-rock soundtrack courtesy of Stan Bush:
Current Mood: amused Current Music:Stan Bush - You Got the Touch
And now... Ernie and Pat bring you... a coversation about THIS GUY:
Erniesjp: ron butterfield was in 2 episodes of 24 Erniesjp: 1st season Fool Pitied By T: hahah, yeah that's right! he got shot Erniesjp: hahahha Erniesjp: thats awesome Fool Pitied By T: I remember that, that's funny... although, if I didn't, I could just say "oh yeah! he got shot!" and it would have at least a 50-50 chance of being right Erniesjp: yea, most peaople you meet on that show get shot or worse Fool Pitied By T: "Oh yeah! he was decapitated and had his head put in a bag!" "Oh yeah! He had his arm chopped off!" "Oh yeah, he was in air force one as it was shot down!" "Oh yeah! she was tied to a chair and shot through the gut, killing the unborn child who would have died anyway since it was too undeveloped to survive without the mother but it was a bitch move anyway!" Erniesjp: dont forget the "Oh yeah, he was shot after he thought he kicked jack's ass and was thusly shot by a terrorist, because jack knew something was up and just decided to let the douchebag who had the gaul to hit him die" Erniesjp: ronnie, that was that dumbass' name Fool Pitied By T: hahahahahahaha Fool Pitied By T: aw man, I love 24 for it's lunacy and rediculousness Erniesjp: yea, i miss it
Erniesjp: not to mention that the "return of jack" will far surpass the return of the likes of tony or whoever the hell else popped up Erniesjp: damn though, they better try real fuckin hard to top tony's return Erniesjp: cause he came back like a goddam hero Fool Pitied By T: dude Erniesjp: i even forgot how much i hated him after that Fool Pitied By T: they'd never do this Fool Pitied By T: but Jack shouldn't even be in it untill, like, episode 6 Fool Pitied By T: it should just be curtis Erniesjp: exactly Fool Pitied By T: and just when we stop wondering where Jack is Fool Pitied By T: BAM Erniesjp: and he come out of no where Erniesjp: when tony or Curtis is about to die Erniesjp: like on a rope swinging in and killing at least 5 dudes before the inetial swing is over Fool Pitied By T: see, that should be his second appearance Fool Pitied By T: in episode 8 Erniesjp: hahahahaha Fool Pitied By T: episode six, things are going to shit, and curtis is in trouble, and we see shit going down on the news on the old TV in some smokey hazy mexican bar, the white sun bleaching in through the windows, the sound of an old pool table in the background, a man sits at the bar and an extreme close up of his drink as he puts it down, extreme close up of the money he throws on the bar top, we follow the man's back as he exits the bar, camera swings aruond, and Jack puts on his shades... Erniesjp: "You dont know Jack!"
Erniesjp: that was by far the best thing they could have ever done to lead into next season Erniesjp: they must have known we'd be drunk and stoned Erniesjp: and dumb enough to go shit crazy after tthat Fool Pitied By T: yeah, rediculous, kinda lame, and yet when you've just finished a crazy episode and are baked out of your mind, it's the coolest damn thing you've ever seen
Fool Pitied By T: the writers are probably just stoned all the time and sitting in a room very much like my setup at scranton... "Waitwaitwait, guys, hold up.... what if....what if Jack says "i'm calling the only person I can trust... and then... at the end right... Jack's out of ammo.... he's about to be shot, and then... shit, and then.... TONY SHOWS UP shootin' mothafuckas in the HEAD!"
Erniesjp: "oh oh oh... and get this... wait, you'll love this. we'll put that querr ass soulpatch back on him, cause i mean now no one will care and he'll just look like the BIGGEST BADASS EVER!!!" Erniesjp: followed by a universal "whoaaaaaaaaaa"
Fool Pitied By T: "and yo man, this may be... I dunno, tell me if this is out there, but like.... we shoot down air force one.." (from the back of the room: "nigga you CRAZY!") " no no no, hear me out... we shoot down air force one, so the VP has to take over.... and, ok, he's like, this massive pussy right... he's hidin' out in the bunker and shit.... so Mike, you remember Mike, right? yeah! We bring him back, and he realizes what a colossal vaj the VP is, so we have him say to someone... 'I know someone who can help'... and we have him call.... you ready for this shit, this is gonna blow your mind... PALMER!' Fool Pitied By T: and then you just have a room of stoners doing McCurdy's lean-forward-in-the-chair-bent-over-with-an-expression-of-joy/pain-while-doing-the-Arsenio-arm-pump-cause-he-thinks-he's-black thing.
Erniesjp: earlier on in the planning, "wait guys, i know we had jack fuck up a witness already, but it just didnt have the pinash of, you know, shooting some guy and then cutting his head off..." "yea, maybe he could fuck someone up in a new way, like using a hotel room appliance." "oooh shit, we could make it someone he knows, like his girl's old beau." "nice nice, but that really doesnt seem 'jack' enough." ok well later, we;ll make people like the guy dumped to the curb for jack, by saving jacks life.. i know it's a bit corny, but everyone will be fucked up.... so then... brace yourself, jack kills the dude for the 'mission.'" Erniesjp: everyone throws their notes into the air and just goes nuts
Fool Pitied By T: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Fool Pitied By T: ok can't do this anymore after that one Fool Pitied By T: especially because you used the word "beau", which is hysterical Erniesjp: i needed to save type space Erniesjp: i realized i was getting carried away Fool Pitied By T: wait wait, I got one more
Fool Pitied By T: "OK..... how about this.... Jack needs to kill him because he needs the doctors... there's only one team of surgeons at CTU - no one will care why - and they're working on the beau.... but we'll make it her EX HUSBAND.... so they're working on him, and Jack brings in a witness that was shot and needs immidiate care so jack can interrogate him.... and he pulls a gun on the docs, they ditch the husband, he dies... BUT WAIT! that's not the clincher.... get this, the witness... he's Chinese, man, and... like... he knows Jack's coming for him.... so like, he goes to the chinese embassy for assylum... they're dicks, cause you know - asian - and won't let him be interrogated... so Jack, he goes OFF THE RESERVATION and takes Curtis and a jobber to INVADE!! the consulate accidentally gets killed, Jack gets blamed, and now China declares war... on JACK."
nothing happens for a really long time... there is shocked silence in the writer's room... then.... from one guy in the back... a slow clap starts. and another. and another. The room bursts into applause, writers are hugging each other and weaping openly, smiling through tear-stained lips. Fool Pitied By T: Some one puts on "We Are the Champions" by Queen, and the bong is repacked
Erniesjp: HAHAHHAHAHAHA Erniesjp: ok that was awesome Erniesjp: the slow clap did it
OK and I wanted to end this with a shot of Jack in shades, walking off into the distance, but couldn't find it anywhere, so instead, how about this.... We know Sutherland likes to give his old "Young Guns" friends some work. Lou Diamond was already in Season One.... next season... Jack's pinned down... no where to turn, and the only person he can trust is....
Pat Mulhern and Gillian Pensavalle present: A conversation about Batman
Fool Pitied By T: wanna hear something that is not set in stone, but nonetheless awesome? chilipep13: wait chilipep13: shit chilipep13: wrong IM chilipep13: yes chilipep13: i do Fool Pitied By T: ok, goyer, the writer of batman begins, was talking about the inevitable sequals Fool Pitied By T: and he was saying that he wants a trilogy (which would fit, since Bale is signed for three films) chilipep13: SLDKFJ YESSSSS Fool Pitied By T: the second film, he says, will be the joker's story, but he will not die at the end. It will be basically Batman, working with Jim Gordon and D.A. Harvey Dent, to bring in the joker. At the end the joker will be beaten, but NOT killed. the third film will open with his trial during which he will burn harvey's face with acid, turning him into two face. (This is not how it happened in the comics, it was a mob boss who threw the acid, but still, I'm ok with the change) and Two Face will be the big bad of the third movie, with Joker as the Hannibal Lecter type. The movie will deal with Harvey's struggle with his two personalities, during the movie Joker will escape, Harvey will either redeem and die or be captured, and in the end it will come down to Bats and Joker chilipep13: oh my god chilipep13: pat chilipep13: i just got chills chilipep13: i shit you not Fool Pitied By T: and that's not the best part Fool Pitied By T: guess who David Goyer and Christopher Nolan's (the director) first choice for Joker is chilipep13: who? Fool Pitied By T: Colonel Fool Pitied By T: Johnny Fool Pitied By T: Depp chilipep13: DFLGJKSER9TPUIOSDFLGK chilipep13: HO SLKDJW93OPAPSDKSE;LTKW chilipep13: SFGD chilipep13: RTW4DG chilipep13: HFGJW4R chilipep13: SDFFKGJ49OSFJKG chilipep13: SDFLKGJW4TWIORLSKGJDFH chilipep13: SLKDGJDFLGKJDRTY-4ETY549O7P632409TISDF;LTFU43 chilipep13: OH MY OTGDRFGISJE Fool Pitied By T: :-D chilipep13: F39WOIESKDL;SDOFKAS;DKFDLGJW3POSD;LFK chilipep13: RG4 chilipep13: WDSG chilipep13: DRTY43E chilipep13: FGYJUTY chilipep13: QA chilipep13: RTDRY chilipep13: 5463 chilipep13: 4DRLGJEW5OPW46IKE5OPRKGDF;LGKSOIT49EPSDKFDOIFGJ94057UIOGJGDRLKJESR469034USPODRT Fool Pitied By T: wow, I think this is the biggest flip out yet chilipep13: EROPTUI394PSLK;DLRSEKSDL;JA'ROKTYR5TO96U43PEKJYE;LRGKROPKG9540ERKYJDRLKTJ Fool Pitied By T: awesome chilipep13: OH MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN chilipep13: JOHNNY DPEPEPEP chilipep13: LSDKFJ chilipep13: TOO chilipep13: FUCKING chilipep13: Fool Pitied By T (4:47:56 PM): The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again. Fool Pitied By T: how perfect? Fool Pitied By T: hahahahahaha chilipep13: i was gonna say "good" Fool Pitied By T: I gathered Fool Pitied By T: but yeah, this all still a big "IF" Fool Pitied By T: but it sounds damned good to me
In response to my posting of the new Batman Begins trailer in my away message:
mike fireball 0: More like Qui Guano Jinn. mike fireball 0: Guano, because that trailer is batshit insane. mike fireball 0: -ly awesome.
jkel25: dude, that movie looks fucking awesome. although at first i was thrown off by all the ice and stuff, and liam neeson made me feel like batman was stuck on hoth, and that beard didn't help him look any less like ewan mcgreggor as obi won-- at first i thought, "goddammit, george lucas remade star wars-- again-- and then again. Everything aside, nonetheless, it looks like a fucking batastick movie! jkel25: i can't wait jkel25: June 17th is too far though
chilipep13: it DOES look amazing chilipep13: what where is he in the begining? chilipep13: all snowy and shit?
RainingBlood2546: amazing trailer i am pumped
CALitheus: haha CALitheus: when Bats says Right here i got a full on Man chubby for christian bale CALitheus: not in a gay way CALitheus: in a comic book nerd way
headjam 8: f that batman shit, he just has a cool tool belt....anyway, you get the EE? headjam 8: damn....actually looks decent
And for you playing at home, just in case you missed it:
Ok, orginally I had posted that "this is what the letters in your name stand for" bullshit quiz. just because the words actually fit me well. but when I cut and pasted, the fucker changed words on me. WELL I won't play THAT game. so instead, I direct you to my last entry, and the kickass teaser poster for Batman Begins.
You scored as alternative. You're partially respected for being an individual in a conformist world yet others take you as a radical. You have no place in society because you choose not to belong there - you're the luckiest of them all, even if your parents are completely ashamed of you. Just don't take drugs ok?
You are Vlad the Impaler. The man behind the legend of Dracula. You hanged your victims, stretched them on the rack, burned them at the stake, boiled them alive, but mostly impaled them. Most of your killings were politically targeted but sometimes you killed just because you were bored. Your "reign of terror" lasted from 1456 to 1462. Estimated numbers of victims vary between 30,000 and more than 100,000. Evil Evil man. Fie on you!
Auto response from Fool Pitied By T: I'd like to send a big fuck you out to the korean non-driver that destroyed my car. Thanks, jackass.
Fool Pitied By T: howdy trovei: hey man trovei: i saw rachael at the italian festival Fool Pitied By T: oh yeah Fool Pitied By T: ? Fool Pitied By T: is there more to that, or... trovei: nah trovei: taht's about it Fool Pitied By T: heh trovei: apparently she's up there every weekend Fool Pitied By T: yeah, she's working on the costumes for greater tuna Fool Pitied By T: I was gonna go up there this weekend trovei: ...but? Fool Pitied By T: see: above away message trovei: oh yeah trovei: what's the deal with that Fool Pitied By T: just as it sounds Fool Pitied By T: I was coming home from work, turned off of 476 on to baltimore pike cause I was going to get my mom a birthday card Fool Pitied By T: jackass stops right in the middle of the fucking road with no warning Fool Pitied By T: some little korean nothing who can't speak english gets out of his suv (which, by the way, is fine) I swear to god, you'd think my car was tin foil and his was coated with adamantium Fool Pitied By T: his 15 kids are crying in the back without seatbelts (aren't they supposed to like, have two, both male, and down the rest?) trovei: hhahahah trovei: craziness trovei: so he can't speak? Fool Pitied By T: and his wife, who could speak- a - rittle - engrish got out and starts giving me her (expired) insurance info trovei: were you fuming ? Fool Pitied By T: think about me, steve. as your friend. how long have you known me. now ask yourself that question again trovei: hahah trovei: so did you rip them apart? Fool Pitied By T: they wouldn't come near me. They - a - rerry, rerry a-scayed of big fat-a angry amelican trovei: hahahahah great! trovei: were the cops there Fool Pitied By T: yeah, they got there, acted as go betweens trovei: how much did you yell at 'em? trovei: and who ended up being at fault Fool Pitied By T: I hear "he a hit me, while we was a stopped." and I'm like "I- a - hit them, because they were - a - stopped in the middle of the FUCKING ROAD with no warning!" Fool Pitied By T: and I will tell you now, steve, they did most dishonorable damage to my car
A1ive and well: yo A1ive and well: did you get my msg? Fool Pitied By T: sorry man, no, I saw that you called, but it was right in the middle of me explaining to the nice police officer how two little asian people in a big honking SUV destroyed my car A1ive and well: haha my msg was "jesus, i could've sworn i just saw you on teh side of baltimre pike" A1ive and well: everyone ok? A1ive and well: what happened? Fool Pitied By T: hahahahahahahahahahaha A1ive and well: we were on our way to media and i just caught you lighting up a cig out of the corner of my left eye and my brain was like yea thats pat Fool Pitied By T: well Ping Kim and Kim Kim (actual names) decide to stop in the middle of the road, and I mean stop. going from 40 to 0 immediately A1ive and well: wow A1ive and well: hahahaha A1ive and well: you rear-end them? Fool Pitied By T: yup Fool Pitied By T: so of course, technically, it's my fault A1ive and well: god, what'd teh cop say A1ive and well: right A1ive and well: and that sucks Fool Pitied By T: nothing, no citations A1ive and well: even tho they were guilty of DWA A1ive and well: driving while asian A1ive and well: which is pretty serious A1ive and well: i was on the trolly the other day and in the middle of the tracks is this lil asian girl in a kia sorrento [i mean if you're going to buy an SUV, buy a fucking real one, i know your korean and you're trying to support the homefront but] and she's on a cell phone oblivious to 30 tons of kawasaki branded iron barreling toward her Fool Pitied By T: hahahahahah, oh no A1ive and well: we almost uh, dishonored her A1ive and well: the trolly guy was like wait for it wait for it NOW HOOOOONK A1ive and well: i hate that horn, but not right then i didnt A1ive and well: she freaked and dropped teh cellphone and jumped the lil curb near the track A1ive and well: i thought she was gonna flip the lil piece of shit over Fool Pitied By T: jesus christ, these people can scale walls, catch katana blades in their bare hands, fly for short distances, and occasionally, not often but SOMETIMES throw fucking hadukin fire balls from their palms.... why then can they not manage the concept of a rack and pinion steering system and anti-lock breaks?! A1ive and well: hahahah A1ive and well: haha..so was the kim family making any attempt to explain thier irrational driving pattern [beside thier ethnicity?]
trovei: yeah. did they explain why they stopped? Fool Pitied By T: dude, these people would have had a hard time explaining how to flush a toilet Fool Pitied By T: they were straight from the boat man Fool Pitied By T: I mean like escaped from the sweatshop yesterday trovei: that sux dude trovei: and their car was fine? Fool Pitied By T: dude Fool Pitied By T: a scratch Fool Pitied By T: if that Fool Pitied By T: and they were bugging out Fool Pitied By T: "Ouwa cah has rittle damage...." Fool Pitied By T: I'll fucking give you some real damage, you walking stereotype Fool Pitied By T: my car looks like I drove it into a brick wall, you're car can be fixed by a little wax-on, wax-off trovei: crap.. so the front's all smashed in Fool Pitied By T: remember the car hellboy conventiently stopped? trovei: umm.. Fool Pitied By T: with his fist trovei: so. it's bad Fool Pitied By T: there ya go' Fool Pitied By T: I'm teling you, if I wasn't moderately sure I would have been on the receiving end of a wicked crane kick, I was gonna go fucking nicholson on their car with a tire iron trovei: hahah plus you were a bit outnumbered Fool Pitied By T: true
Fool Pitied By T: goddamit man Fool Pitied By T: talk about fucking kharma Fool Pitied By T: I did nothing for myself today Fool Pitied By T: I worked all day on my day off because it's labor day weekend and my boss woke me up with a phonecall asking me to come in Fool Pitied By T: I did Fool Pitied By T: all day Fool Pitied By T: then I was stopping at that particular exit because I wanted to stop and get flowers and a birthday card for my mom Fool Pitied By T: and in the mean time, I stumble smack-dab across the ho-chi-min trail and get cluster bombed into car-less hell by charlie and the family circus A1ive and well: wow, that sucks dude, she better fuckin appreciate it A1ive and well: i bet she was instead pretty pissed off, hows the car look? Fool Pitied By T: of course not, she bit my fucking head off (without asking if I was alright first), stacking this on top of yet many other reasons why i make her life a living hell (my renouncing the catholic church and taking pleasure in tobacco being slightly beneath that) A1ive and well: ah. A1ive and well: cause god likes catholics to judge people for him and all. A1ive and well: i mean, he cant judge everyone. that'd take too long. he needs help. Fool Pitied By T: I mean, I know I'm lapsed catholic and all, but these were godless bhuddists... shouldn't I still get the decision? A1ive and well: hahahaha A1ive and well: now you feel dante's pain A1ive and well: heh. wasnt even supposed to work today. Fool Pitied By T: hahahahahah, well said, steve, well said Fool Pitied By T: and wanna hear the irony of that statement? Fool Pitied By T: the officer who took the accident report A1ive and well: sure Fool Pitied By T: officer kevin smith A1ive and well: no shit. Fool Pitied By T: I felt like I was in a surrealistic nightmare Fool Pitied By T: I kept waiting for Affleck to show up and say it looks like someone just shit in my cereal, BONG!
trovei: that's true?! trovei: that's pretty nuts Fool Pitied By T: yes it is
Current Mood: frustrated Current Music:Paint it Black
Ok, I realize how metro this is going to make me sound, but I have been watching Sex & The City and I feel the need to rant.
Here goes.
I like the show.
and I FUCKING HATE IT at the same time.
The whole "I love the city, it is my one true love thing". ugh. Over it. New York is not a person. It's a fucking city. A cool city. But a city. First episode of season 5 - Carrie is raving about her perfect New York night watching french films and going to museums. People don't do that.
At the end of the episode, this nice sailor guy tell her the city isn't for him because of the garbage and the crime, and Carrie, after narrating (No one talks shit on my town) says "It's not so bad," and leaves. What the program doesn't show is her walking alone, not getting a cab, getting jumped from behind, thrown in an alley, raped, sodomized and then gutted with a stillhetto from her naval to her clavical.
But it's HER city, HER boyfriend... ECHHHHHH!!!! ENOUGH WITH YOU!!! Shut uuuuUUUUUUUuuuuUUUUUPPPPP.
Also disconcerting is that I suddenly realized that all four of these girls resemble ex girlfriends of mine in scary and uncanny ways.
Two of them I liked, two I didn't.
Charlotte is dead on... dead ON, and I never realized it... but even though we didn't get along, I liked her and find the optimism refreshing.
I LOVE Miranda. I've only had one girlfriend that was even close to being as cynical as I am. but she was no Miranda. I need to find a Miranda. Minus the kid.
Now Carrie.... ugh, I can't even accurately describe why I don't like her... she's ugly, wears awful clothes, likes shoes better than life and has a wise ass overrated poetic wit that's not.
and finally Samantha:. You are old. you are saggy. you are gross. you are beyond whorish. you're 50 and you act like your 20 and no one is buying it. you weren't even hot in star trek 6. you weren't even that hot in animal house. You are certainly not hot now, you are not a sex symbol, stop getting naked and kill yourself.
The show is good, yet infuriating. and I am evidently a woman.
MTV must be stopped, no matter the cost... Well after last post's sap-fest, I figured I'd follow it up with a rant, both barrells blazing. In my sites today: The MTV movie awards.
Oh My god in heaven did the MTV movie awards suck.
Suuuuuuu-hu-hu-hu-hu-huuuuuuuuuck.
Lindsay Lohan is hot. We all know this. She's seventeen. She's got huge titays. She's also kinda orange. But she's hot. So what.... this is not enough to maintain my attention for three hours of unadulterated garbage.
First off, let's look at the opening act. I was expecting what we've always had, a humerous re-editing of a scene from a big movie with the host inserted in.
What did we get?
A fucked-nut, retarded dance number with Miss Lohan and the porch monkeys from "You Got Served". I smiled once during this whole abortion of a performance, and that was when I remembered the Southpark episode that did such a good job of making fun of this awfulness. Omarion. You have a name that sounds like a transformer. You suck and you should kill yourself. Marcus. You should kill Omarion. I hope during one of your little "dance" performances, while sliding across the stage on your head, your balance throws and your neck snaps at the 4th vertibrae, paralizing you from the adams apple down for life. As your now limp and uncotrollable body comes to a stop on the stage, flailing like a fish out of water, you trip one of the back up dancers who falls into the scaffolding backstage, bringing all the rigging down and impailing Omarion on a piece of PVC piping. Enough with you two. Kill yourselves.
On to the presenters. I'm sick of these pretty-people hollywood fucks trying desperately to hide their absence of personality by bantering wittily at the mic and showing that they are, indeed, cardboard cut-outs. The only reason you are there is to hawk your next piece of crap "blockbuster", we know this, you know, get over yourself. You are not a beautiful snowflake.
And fuck the "themes" MTV. An entire award show centered around horror movies, celebrating a year that had ONE horror movie in it? Yeah, there's a peach of an idea, you mush-mouthed nothings. The animations have to go. HAVE TO. Just say "Now is the award for best male performance" and show a graphic saying as much. We don't need a badly rendered CGI abomination of what some aging hipster thought was "Cool" or "scary". Die.
The MTV movie awards used to be the cool anti-award-show award show. Now it's a useless clone of the oscars with a fraction of the class and none of the relevance. MTV in general is awful. I'm just old enough to remember when they played music. And not that TRL nonsense where you get 20 seconds of Justin Timberlake's latest musical abortion. I mean a full video of GOOD music.
MTV: It's time to put a bullet in the dying dog. Kill yourself.
You are the child to my windshield.
Current Mood: aggravated Current Music:Metallica - Shoot Me Again
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